FEAR cannot motivate but a 69-year-old man in drag on a bicycle can...

Fear can drive people to do some crazy things. Those are often terrible things that people regret.

Fear can also prevent people from doing some crazy things. Most of those crazy things are the very essence of greatness.

Recognizing that fear is having the effect on you and your actions that you DON'T want is so important. When you recognize it, you can change it.

It's often hard to know when fear stops being a natural barrier that your psyche creates to protect you and and begins being an unnatural barrier to the things you really want for your life. Sometimes it helps to have a good friend or partner who can help you recognize the difference. Sometimes it helps to have someone impartial to help review these ideas and decide.

For me, it was a 69-year-old man in drag on a bicycle that led to me knowing it was time for me to ride again.

This past Saturday, I helped to organize the Girls Gone Riding All-women's Bike Ride in Gilbert. It was the third year in a row. I haven't ridden except for a shaky spin around the block on my hybrid since I was struck by a tractor trailer in August while riding in an organized bike ride in Ventura, CA. There were months of surgeries and therapy. There were weeks and weeks of painkillers that blotted out many of my memories. There were periods of depression and grief over having lost the activity that really fueled my social and physical life. I have been blessed in the new year to really experience much healing, both physically and emotionally. I still felt a little lost, now and then, although I remained committed to the cycling community and to helping women feel more comfortable on a bike. But having had two difficult experiences trying to ride a bike again, I was avoiding getting back on like the plague despite success on a stationary bike or on a wind trainer in my family room.

Two friends, John Hernandez and Charlie Gerhardt, decided to surprise me at the ride by showing up on their bikes in drag. They had done this once before at an all-women's bike ride in Scottsdale. The results both times were hilarious. The two of them rode the entire route dressed up and with full make-up and wigs. They added so much to the ride and to the riders--both helping to bring in some of the cyclists struggling in the 25-30 mph winds.

Besides the levity and encouragement they provided to the ride, something else struck me. I remembered as I watched John make his way in after 60 long miles in terrible wind, that he had been off of the bike for at least 18 months or more after a terrible motorcycle accident three years ago. His leg was terribly damaged and he nearly lost it. It was many surgeries, infections and therapies that led to his restoration. Like me, he took to his wind trainer and it was so inspiring to see him finally show up on a road bike for a Sunday morning ride. Watching this 69-year-old, good-natured man enjoy his day, making others smile and completing 60 miles really affected me. Something afterwards reached deep within me and reminded me of the power and strength I had within me. I decided at that moment, that before the end of this week, I was going to get back on a bike and really ride.

And, today, I did just that.

I thought I would ride my hybrid first but after not feeling natural on it. I got out my old road bike and pumped it up like I had hundreds of times before. I decided to head straight for the road since that was the fear I often battled. So, I headed around my neighborhood first and found my way up to my normal meetup point--a place I always meet Peggy to ride in the mornings. It felt completely normal and with that, came the normal wind often experienced in February. I was preparing myself for cars and trucks although the neighborhood was quiet. When the cars began coming, I was ready for them. I ended up on a busy road near my home to test my nerves. It was a little unnerving at first but I focused on keeping steady and staying well into the bike lane.

To get a few more miles in, I wound my way throughout the neighborhood, ending up with about 12 miles. The feeling of overcoming was so strong. I thought of so many things, so many people, so many moments. Most of all, I realized I was where I was supposed to be. I can hardly wait for my next ride.