FEAR cannot motivate but a 69-year-old man in drag on a bicycle can...

Fear can drive people to do some crazy things. Those are often terrible things that people regret.

Fear can also prevent people from doing some crazy things. Most of those crazy things are the very essence of greatness.

Recognizing that fear is having the effect on you and your actions that you DON'T want is so important. When you recognize it, you can change it.

It's often hard to know when fear stops being a natural barrier that your psyche creates to protect you and and begins being an unnatural barrier to the things you really want for your life. Sometimes it helps to have a good friend or partner who can help you recognize the difference. Sometimes it helps to have someone impartial to help review these ideas and decide.

For me, it was a 69-year-old man in drag on a bicycle that led to me knowing it was time for me to ride again.

This past Saturday, I helped to organize the Girls Gone Riding All-women's Bike Ride in Gilbert. It was the third year in a row. I haven't ridden except for a shaky spin around the block on my hybrid since I was struck by a tractor trailer in August while riding in an organized bike ride in Ventura, CA. There were months of surgeries and therapy. There were weeks and weeks of painkillers that blotted out many of my memories. There were periods of depression and grief over having lost the activity that really fueled my social and physical life. I have been blessed in the new year to really experience much healing, both physically and emotionally. I still felt a little lost, now and then, although I remained committed to the cycling community and to helping women feel more comfortable on a bike. But having had two difficult experiences trying to ride a bike again, I was avoiding getting back on like the plague despite success on a stationary bike or on a wind trainer in my family room.

Two friends, John Hernandez and Charlie Gerhardt, decided to surprise me at the ride by showing up on their bikes in drag. They had done this once before at an all-women's bike ride in Scottsdale. The results both times were hilarious. The two of them rode the entire route dressed up and with full make-up and wigs. They added so much to the ride and to the riders--both helping to bring in some of the cyclists struggling in the 25-30 mph winds.

Besides the levity and encouragement they provided to the ride, something else struck me. I remembered as I watched John make his way in after 60 long miles in terrible wind, that he had been off of the bike for at least 18 months or more after a terrible motorcycle accident three years ago. His leg was terribly damaged and he nearly lost it. It was many surgeries, infections and therapies that led to his restoration. Like me, he took to his wind trainer and it was so inspiring to see him finally show up on a road bike for a Sunday morning ride. Watching this 69-year-old, good-natured man enjoy his day, making others smile and completing 60 miles really affected me. Something afterwards reached deep within me and reminded me of the power and strength I had within me. I decided at that moment, that before the end of this week, I was going to get back on a bike and really ride.

And, today, I did just that.

I thought I would ride my hybrid first but after not feeling natural on it. I got out my old road bike and pumped it up like I had hundreds of times before. I decided to head straight for the road since that was the fear I often battled. So, I headed around my neighborhood first and found my way up to my normal meetup point--a place I always meet Peggy to ride in the mornings. It felt completely normal and with that, came the normal wind often experienced in February. I was preparing myself for cars and trucks although the neighborhood was quiet. When the cars began coming, I was ready for them. I ended up on a busy road near my home to test my nerves. It was a little unnerving at first but I focused on keeping steady and staying well into the bike lane.

To get a few more miles in, I wound my way throughout the neighborhood, ending up with about 12 miles. The feeling of overcoming was so strong. I thought of so many things, so many people, so many moments. Most of all, I realized I was where I was supposed to be. I can hardly wait for my next ride.

Which body part must one train to be a successful cyclist?

Some will say the core muscles are the most important to work to be a strong rider. Others will say, the calves, the thighs, the glutes...

Surprise! None of these.

The most important body part to be trained for cycling is: The BRAIN.

I know this to be true from my very beginning into the endeavor of cycling.

Prior to any group ride, I had a series of questions that I required be answered before I would even consider setting my alarm. How far is this ride? How many hills are there? How steep are they? What would you compare them to? How many hours will it take us to do this route? What will happen if I can't do it? Is there a SAG? Can someone help me change my tire if I get a flat? How many people are riding in this group? Is anyone going who rides at my pace (slow!)? What if I get lost? What if I am dropped?

I never saw myself as a worrywart but I was terrified I would experience one or, worse, ALL of the very worst answers to these questions. What's worse, I continued to ask these questions while ON the ride too.

I was only riding a few weeks when the ride leader, an incredibly patient man who is full of the HOLY CYCLING SPIRIT once told me: "Riding is 90 percent in your mind and 10 percent skill." I didn't believe him. He didn't know me. He didn't know what a completely inept example of an athlete I was. He didn't know I was never much of a physical person. He didn't know...

But he did know. Because as I continued to ride and pushed through the swirling fear, overbearing unknowns and the rolling eyeballs of seasoned cyclists on the group rides to grow stronger, I found he was not only right, he possessed an uncanny ability to not answer the questions but to squelch them. He refused to humor me with the answers because they would only be followed by more questions and more questions. When it came down to it, he had enough belief and faith in not only me, but every single person who showed up on a bike. And, what's more, it didn't matter what kind of bike or bike apparel or bike gear, he treated everyone the same.

With each mile, with each ride, my mind became trained. I trusted my body to get me where I allowed my mind to wander, and amazingly, I got there. I became limited only by where my mind would go. As my brain expanded to believe that I could ride 50 miles, I rode 50 miles. As I trained it to think it could ride 75 miles, then 100 miles, I rode it.

Today, as I contemplate the return to the road, I remember my retraining begins with my brain. I must continue to get on my trainer and the spin bikes at the gym to prepare my body for the miles. But like before, I can't discount that I have to train my brain. I am only limited by what my mind can believe. I will believe that I can get back on a road bike and ride for miles and miles. I will train my thoughts around seeing myself on a shiny new road bike zooming down the south side of Usery Pass. I will practice thinking and seeing and smelling and pedalling and....forgetting,

Until I have retrained.

Let the RETRAINING begin.




When the fight begins within himself, a man's worth something. - Robert Browning

Redemption looks like a red tricycle...

I lie in bed and all I can think about is cycling again.
I know I should be thinking about work. I know I should be sleeping. I know I should be contemplating many things that are more significant than my butt on a bike saddle. But I can't.
I imagine the Arizona sun playing hide and seek among the jagged mountains at South Mountain Park at the end of the day and zooming down San Juan Road toward the ramada.
I think of the group riding up to telegraph pass in Ahwatukee, many of us mashing as the sinewy men careen past us yelling GOOD JOB!
I remember the morning chill and the site of my friend's blinking light slowly heading toward me at our regular meeting spot for our morning 17 miles and I can think of nothing else.

It was these seductive thoughts that lured me to the garage a few days ago to pump the tires on my Trek hybrid and open the garage, strap on my old helmet and think to myself, it's time.

The air was cool and the neighborhood was quiet. I swung my battered left leg over the saddle and stood for a moment. What I imagined would be perfectly natural, felt foreign to me. My "Fresh and Easy" bike as I had named it with it's black canvas pannier on the back for shopping at the neighborhood grocery felt awkward, heavy and, well, frightening.

I took a deep breath and slid onto the seat. Instead of feeling like I had slipped on a comfortable familiar glove, I felt shaky, wobbly and scared. At the end of the driveway, I nearly fell and slammed down the wrong foot and felt lucky to be upright. Feeling so foolish, I swung my leg over again and dejectedly walked the bike back to its spot in the garage. I could swear the bike was sulking in shame over having caused the whole disaster.

At first, I didn't want to tell anyone what I had done. With so many well-wishers offering encouragement, I didn't want to broadcast what a dismal failure this first endeavor on a bike had been. But, I did share it with a friend who had, herself, been in two accidents, each time breaking her pelvis and also her wrist the second time. She assured me that this was a natural feeling and that it wouldn't last. Her encouragement went one step further, she offered me a loaner red trike that her significant other had in his shop.

The very next day, I was at the shop plopped atop the vintage 70s adult tricycle. Although it presents its own set of challenges of turning and managing it, the red tricycle is just what I needed. Riding the wind trainer is amazing because it feels real and spinning on the stationary bike helps me work up a sweat, but this is real outdoor movement. I felt alive as I wound around the parking area.

Belief is back and my failure, redeemed. I can hardly wait to ride it tomorrow...

I know it's only a matter of time before I can feel the feeling of clipped in feet and wind whooshing by me at 18 mph. But until then, my borrowed red trike will give me the exercise and the confidence I need to move in that direction.

I am ambivalent about my slippers...

You might wonder why I am ambivalent about my Ugg slippers. Seriously, what did they ever do to not be fully embraced? Sure, they are Uggs, not really glitzy or very feminine. In fact, one might say they are downright ugly what with their scuffed hide and he-man looking woolen cuffs. There are many more attractive slippers that also can keep one warm, that's for sure.

But the sheer appearance of these Ugg slippers has nothing to do with my ambivalence toward them.

Since my accident in August, I have been learning to walk again. I am now the proud stepper of someone who no longer relies on a cane to get around. I can walk, on my own, putting one foot in front of another. I don't lose my balance, I have minimal swelling around my recontructed ankle that had been spun from facing forward to attempting to walk to the left on its own and, most of the time and I can walk heel-to-toe after warming up my aging, patched up bones.

My Ugg slippers are seductive in the guise of practicality: they provide me with the stability to walk while keeping my feet warm. Each day that I keep my feet warmed inside these Uggs, is one more day I don't attempt to don the shoes of a grown-up consultant seeking additional clients or seeking business for the clients I already have. Each day I slip into my Uggs is one more day I avoid putting on my Specialized racing shoes to see if I can stuff my Size 11 Frankenstein-ish looking foot into it and 1. Will it fit in them again and 2.Will it find its home in cycling shoes once again.

I have been able to find patience over the years for children learning to potty train, for fingers learning new keyboards, for employees learning new skills and for doctors who have overbooked appointments. Finding the patience for my ankle to decide it's ready to conquer old things that are like new again has been a hunt for which I have experienced more obstacles. The alternative is foolish abandon and snubbing reality which could lead to prolonged impatience.

In the meantime, I have vowed to do those things I CANdo with full on enthusiasm--trading my Uggs for sneakers is where I am today.

It's been a while...

On August 21, 2010, I was struck by a grocer's tractor trailer while completing a metric century ride in California.

It's been a journey of humbling, challenging days in which I have struggled to maintain a positive attitude. It's sort of like being on a diet--some days the 'woe is me' in me wins but most days  it's the 'glass is half full' in me crossing the finish line first. Every day though, I win because I am here breathing, thinking, healing and appreciating all of the wonderful help I have been given.

I can't lie, there have been long moments of pushing the pictures out of my mind of the beautiful sunny fall days of being on my bike enjoying the hills in the cooler weather. I have pushed them out because, for me, this autumn, it won't be me out there. Periods have emerged where I pushed aside the snapshops of enjoying the bagels and coffee at our beloved Nosh Bagelry following a terrific November day of cruising around in temperatures that serve as our reward for withstanding Arizona summers. For this November, I'll be sitting out.

Today, there's progress to be applauded and countless people to chase down and thank. Today, I have a husband whose patience, thoughtfulness and care equals mountains of every good thing I can think of. Today, I have dreams of returning to riding sooner than later.

Everyday though, no matter what, I close my eyes as I aim for sleep, sometimes without much of a target,
and I imagine myself whole, healthy, happy and back on my bicycle. Days, weeks, months...no matter...I will continue to hope for that fine day.

Girls Gone Riding: Folks...You can wrap your handlebars yourself!

So it's a cheap job...$8-$12 bucks to pay a bike shop...That's not the point...

Empower yourself! Plus, you'll feel less guilty about changing your bar tape as often as you change your purse!

It's fun and you can do it. Subscribe for me tips from Girls Gone Riding.

Women Cyclist Shifting Tips - Basics, Nevers and Always for Girls Gone Riding

July 7th Wine Women and Wheels Shifting Clinic at Global Bikes in Gilbert, AZ

Learning to shift is among the most intimidating of skills when first learning to road bike. When heading out on a flat beginner ride, there are not too many opportunities for dangerous mistakes. It's typically when riding steeper grades that being in the correct gear could cause some headaches or even a fall

Here are some basic shifting tips to get you started:

Most of your shifting will occur using your right shifter, or rear gears.

The left or front shifter is used for bigger or more intense shifting when heading up a signficant grade. Most riding will be done in the middle ring of a triple or the larger sprocket of a double or compact double.

The biggest sprocket in the back is the one that produces the easiest pedaling.

While the largest ring in the front produces faster or harder pedalling, the large ring in the back is your easiest gear.

Gears CLOSEST TO the bike are easier. As they move further away from the bike fram, harder.

It's easier to remember this way, but you will see that the smaller ring in the front is closer to the bike and the larger ring in the back is closer to the frame.

The smallest sprocket in the back allows you to move the fastest.

When you are in your smallest, or highest number gear in the rear (usually #7, #8 or #9), it takes more pressure to move the pedals, but you can move along more quickly.

Shifting of the right (rear) will occur when pedaling is becoming too easy to too difficult. The shift will permit you to adjust to this change in terrain.

Adjust as you are moving along smaller terrain changes.

Shifting the left shifter makes a big impact, and shifting the right shifter is to fine tune your gear selection.

When you anticipate a hill ahead, don't wait until you have engaged the hill to shift, anticipate it and shift while pedalling softly before you reach the hill.

Triple vs. compact doubles – If you care what racers think of your bike, go with a compact double, if you don’t care, get a triple.

Even with a triple, a cyclist will not utilize ALL of these gear configurations, but if you don't care about weight, it's good to know the gears are there.

Rule of Thumb – Use Cogs 1-4 with small ring; Cogs 5-8 with the Large Ring.

Keep the chain as straight as possible; it can put too much strain or stretch on the chain if it becomes too angled. Never ride Large ring front/large ring back or small ring front/small ring back.

Use your fingers, save your legs!

 

Many new riders, particularly former runners tend to stay in harder gears and 'mash' as they ride. Using shifting and doing more spinning is easier on your legs and provides a more aerobic workout rather than building muscles!